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The Worms

One of the favorite folk songs that American children learn either from their families or on the playgrounds deals with the gruesome subject of decomposition. The song's origins go back to the 19th century, at least, when it was documented among British soldiers serving in the Crimean campaign. The catchiness of the melody and the rare opportunity to speak humorously about the ugly side of death doubtlessly has ensured the ballad's survival into the 21st century. Like most folk songs, there is no definitive version. Here are a few I have collected.

Growing up, I learned this version:

	First you're sick and then you're worse
	And then it's time to call the hearse

	They put you in
	the cold, cold ground
	with all your relatives
	standing around.

	The worms crawl in
	The worms crawl out
	The worms they crawl
	all about

	The worms crawl in
	The worms crawl out
	They play pinochle
	on your snout!

A taphophile reader contributed this:

	If you ever laugh
	when a hearse goes by,
	then you will be
	the next to die.

	They wrap you up 
	in a bloody sheet
	and drop you six feet
	underneath.

	The worms crawl in,
	the worms crawl out.
	They play pinochle
	at your snout.

	A big, black spider
	from Paradise
	goes in your liver
	and out your eyes.

Another learned this in Iowa:

	Did you ever think when a hearse goes by
	that you might be the next to die?
	They wrap you up in a dirty sheet
	and bury you down about six feet deep.

	The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out
	the ants play pinochle in your snout.
	Then you turn a mushy green and pus squirts out
	like whipping cream.

	--   And I without my spoon but with a straw!
Byron Lee Bozeman sent this: 
	Did you ever think as a hearse drives by
	That you may be the next to die

	The wrap you up in a big white sheet 
	And throw you in six feet deep

	The worms crawl in the worms crawl out
	In your ears and out your snout

	Your eyes fall out,  your teeth decay
	A rotten end to a lovely day
Lota submitted this: 
	Oh never laugh when the hearse goes by
	or you'll be the one who's next to die

	They'll wrap you up in a bloody sheet
	and bury you six feet deep

	Worms crawl in and worms crawl out
	Worms play pinochle on your snout

	They'll put your guts on a piece of bread
	and that's what you'll eat when you are dead!

Summer Raye shared this:

	Don't ever laugh as the hearse goes by
	For you may be the next to die.
	They put you in a big black box
	then cover you up with dirt and rocks.

	All goes well for about a week
	and then your coffin begins to leak.
	The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
	The worms play Pinochle on your snout.

	They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
	They eat the jelly between your toes.
	A big green worm with rolling eyes
	crawls in your stomache and out your eyes.

	Your stomach turns a slimy green
	and puss pours out like whipping creme.
	Spread it on a slice of bread, 
	that's what you eat when you are dead.

Eliza Fegley learned this at camp:

	Did you ever see a hearse go by
	And wonder what it's like to die?

	I-ho, I-ho
	I-ho, I-ho
	How happy we shall be
	Bum bum

	They put you in a long black box
	And then they cover you up with rocks.

	I-ho, I-ho
	I-ho, I-ho
	How happy we shall be
	Bum bum

	The Worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
	They eat your guts then spit them out.

	I-ho, I-ho
	I-ho, I-ho
	How happy we shall be
	Bum bum

	And when your bones begin to rot
	The worms are there but you are not.

	I-ho, I-ho
	I-ho, I-ho
	How happy we shall be
	Bum bum

	The moral of this is very creative.
	Don't get buried but be cremated.

	I-ho, I-ho
	I-ho, I-ho
	How happy we shall be
	Bum bum
Finally, there is this version reported by Kenneth Iserson: 
	Did you ever think when a hearse goes by,
	That you may be the next to die?

	They take you out to the family plot,
	And there you wither, decay, and rot.

	They wrap you up in a bloody sheet,
	And then they bury you six-feet deep.

	And all goes well for a week or two,
	And then things start to happen to you.

	The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
	The ants play pinochle on your snout!

	One of the worms that's not so shy,
	Crawls in one ear and out one eye.

	They call their friends and their friends' friends, too,
	They'll make a horrid mess of you!

	And then your blood turns yellow-green,
	And oozes out like whipping cream.

	[Spoken] Darn, me without a spoon!

	Your eyes fall in, your teeth fall out,
	Your liver turns to sauerkraut.

	So never laugh when a hearse goes by,
	For you may be the next to die.
Questions or Comments?
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