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From: gazissax@netcom.com
Newsgroups: misc.kids.info,misc.answers,news.answers
Subject: misc.kids FAQ on Childhood Vaccinations, Part 4/4
Followup-To: misc.kids.health
Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.EDU, kids-info-request@ai.mit.edu
Reply-To: lynngnews@alsirat.com
Summary: This FAQ contains information on vaccinations, with particular
        focus on the vaccinations given to children.  Section 4 contains 
	comments by parents about their vaccination decisions and
	experiences.

Archive-name: misc-kids/vaccinations/part4
Posting-Frequency: monthly
Last-Modified: March 10, 2009

===============================================================================
Section 5. Stories of Parents

The questions asked were as follows:

Now, the questions for parents (or parents to be) about vaccination. The following questions refer both to the regular vaccinations which are recommended for all children, and to any optional vaccinations which your child may have gotten (such as hepatitis B or flu shots). (This list of questions has been slightly modified from the first posting, to correct a typing mistake which made some questions appear to be addressed only to vaccinators.)

These first questions are meant for people anywhere on the spectrum as far as what vaccinations they chose to give or not give their children. What vaccines did you (will you) choose to give or not give your children? What were your reasons for making the choices you did? How did you go about making your decisions, and what resources did you find helpful in getting the information you needed?

For parents who have vaccinated your children, do you have any advice for parents who are about to have their children vaccinated about things they should be prepared for?

For parents who have not given the recommended infant vaccinations, are you planning to have your children vaccinated later? Why or why not? In particular, would you vaccinate your daughter for rubella when she hits puberty? Why or why not?

===============================================================================

From: Paula Burch

We choose to give our son all of his vaccinations as recommended by the pediatrician. Vaccinations are one of the few true successes of modern medicine, and despite some extremely small risks prevent far, far more agony than they ever cause.

Some who would otherwise choose to have their children vaccinated cannot, for odd medical reasons. These individuals depend absolutely on the rest of the population's being vaccinated. Parents who elect to refuse vaccination for their children, for no better reason than that they've been listening to some quack, put not only themselves but these other children in danger. When a child who cannot be vaccinated dies due to infection from a child who could have been vaccinated but wasn't, the parents of the latter child are morally though not legally guilty of the dead child's murder. When only a small number of children are unvaccinated, the risk is small, but when many elect to refuse vaccinations, the risk of an epidemic becomes quite high, and in some cases this has already been seen on a small scale.

Almost all problems blamed upon the pertussis vaccine actually have had nothing to due with the vaccine, but were observed coincidentally in children who would have had the problems even in the absence of the vaccination.

In no case has our child shown any reaction at all to any of the vaccinations he has received, through 18 months, except for pain immediately after the injection. Even if he had shown some problem, however, I would still be convinced of the necessity of the immunization. A one in a million risk of a side effect is a whole lot better than a one in twenty, or worse, chance of dying. It is my duty as a mother to do what I can to improve my child's chances of good health, and it is extremely clear that immunizations improve the odds tremendously.

At the turn of the century, no more than one or two out of five children could be expected to survive to maturity. Vaccinations are one of the primary reasons why our own children can expect to grow up.

Having said that, I saw no reason to give the hepatitis B vaccine to my newborn. My peditrician gives it when the child is several months older, which seemed preferable to me, as there was so little risk of exposure before that time. The need for vaccination against hepatitis is much lower than the need for immunization against the diseases of childhood, but, as the hepatitis vaccine is genetically engineered, there is essentially zero risk of ill effects, so I felt it was well worth getting.

Paula Burch pburch@bcm.tmc.edu

===============================================================================
From: jag@ampex.com (Rayaz Jagani)

(It would be easier to answer/comment if the questions were enumerated, I hope the following does not further confuse the issue)

I tend not to allow my child to be vaccinated.

My HMO (Kaiser Permanente), has not given me actual numbers of efficacy/side effects over the life of an average person. I understand that the definition of side effects is what happens within 6 weeks. If the effects are known to be longer, why should side effects be of shorter duration?

My wife, who is an M.D. thinks differently. Our son got all the recommended shots. I had my fingers crossed. He also got the works for our recent trip to India/Pakistan. I don't think it worked as he did land up with stools etc., was prescribed some anti-biotic (Bactrin or something).

I dont take any shots when I visit that region; but then, I grew up there, not that I was vaccinated regularly there :-)

About the hepatitis B shots, not enough is known. Also, should babies be given this or more likely adolescents... if they are becoming sexually active. Apparently, they do get some residual effects from their infancy vaccines.

My conclusion is, that if you are looking for answers, a long term view, and hard numbers, there is a lot of gray area. All the numbers are based on samples, statistics, control groups, duration of followup, etc. You decide what you want to bet on, in this russian roulette.

There may also be a legal requirement in public schools, private schools can probably do anything they wish. I think you can get around public school limitations, however, you may have to go to court.

You may wish to hunt the sci.med archives for more discussion; I dont know how enlightening you will find it :-). Below is an example:

EX:From: mcdonald@aries.scs.uiuc.edu (J. D. McDonald)
EX:Newsgroups: sci.med
EX:Subject: Re: infant seizures after vaccination
EX:Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1993 13:52:43 GMT
[deleted rest of header]
EX:In article <93245.161304ICGLN@ASUACAD.BITNET>  writes:
EX:>Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1993 16:13:04 MST
EX:>From: 
EX:>Subject: Re: infant seizures after vaccination
EX:
EX:>nnget 93245.161304
EX:>In article , geb@cs.pitt.edu (Gordon Banks) says:
EX:>>
EX:>>
EX:>>Seizures and epilepsy are not uncommon in children.  They often begin
EX:>>about the age that the child is vaccinated.  No correlation has
EX:>>been shown between the vaccine and the development of epilepsy.
EX:>>It is likely just coicidence.  The child needs a good pediatric
EX:>>neurologist.  Denver is likely the only place in the State of
EX:>>COlorado that has one.
EX:>>
EX:>>--
EX:>Given that a large portion of children are vaccinated; and that seizures and
EX:>epilepsy occur around the same time as vaccination; how could one possible say
EX:>that no correlation has been shown. Where are the controls in this study?
EX:
EX:>Certainly not every vaccinated child has seizures. And not every child will be
EX:>allergic to milk, either. The fact that not every child has a reaction to
EX:>vaccinations is no argument against the notion that they may cause reactions
EX:>in
EX:>some. Unlike the milk allergy, where one can eliminate milk from the diet and
EX:>see if the condition gets better, it is not possible to unvaccinate someone.
EX:>While the connection is not absolute, there are **NO** grounds for dismissing
EX:>vaccinations as a possible source of health complications.
EX:
EX:
EX:There is NO reasonable doubt that vaccination with the pertussis vacine
EX:can cause permanent and serious neurological harm. That has been
EX:proven again and again in court cases in the US. In fact, just this
EX:last week another child was awarded millions of dollars in damages
EX:after being brain-damaged by this vaccine. Note that one need 
EX:not make any qualifications about that .. not "may have been", but
EX:"was". This is simply no longer debateable. It is only this one vaccine thaty
EX:does this. It is often given in combination with two other vaccines.
EX:If those are given alone, the vaccine is safe.
EX:
EX:The vaccine is still required in some places EVEN THOUGH it is known
EX:that it can cause SERIOUS harm to children. 
EX:
EX:Doug McDonald 
Best of luck.
--
Usual disclaimers/caveats apply.
It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he
already knows. -Epictetus
===============================================================================
From: madrone@cruzio.com

In article you write:
>These first questions are meant for people anywhere on the spectrum
>as far as what vaccinations they chose to give or not give their
>children. What vaccines did you (will you) choose to give or not give
>your children?

Morganne received 1 dose of DPT, 2 doses of DT, 3 doses of oral polio and 1 dose of MMR. Matisse has received 1 dose of tetanus vaccine and we plan to vaccinate her for polio. Both girls will receive rubella vaccinations at puberty (if they show no immunity at that time).

>What were your reasons for making the choices you did?

I was undecided with Morganne but decided to vaccinate her anyway. After she had severe reactions to the pertussis and MMR vaccines, I did more reading and consulted with the doctor. We came up with the following:

1) Additional doses of pertussis or MMR could be dangerous or deadly
for Morganne and were not advised for siblings, either.
2) The side effects of the diptheria, pertussis, measles, mumps
and rubella vaccines are a greater health risk to healthy
children than the diseases themselves.
3) There are concerns about vaccines wearing off. I would rather
my children contract mild illnesses (mumps, rubella, chicken pox,
measles) as children. I am haunted by the prospect of a population
of young women whose immunity to rubella may wear off just as
they begin to bear children.
4) The risks of tetanus and polio (and the safety of the vaccines)
are greater than the risks of the vaccines. So my children will
receive these vaccines.
5) The risk of rubella in a pregnant woman is very troublesome.
Therefore, I will delay this vaccine until puberty. This will
give them a chance to receive more effective immunity from the
natural disease and will also put them at lower risk for
reduced vaccine immunity in their childbearing years.

>How did you go about making your decisions, and what resources did you
>find helpful in getting the information you needed?

Our family doctor was very helpful. I also found the writings of Robert Mendelsohn and George Wootan (both MDs) very helpful. Mothering magazine was another good source of information. George Wootan's book has an especially good section on the risks and benefits of the various vaccines.

>For parents who have vaccinated your children, do you have any advice for
>parents who are about to have their children vaccinated about things they
>should be prepared for?

Know what severe reactions to watch out for and take any unusual reactions seriously. I didn't know until later that Morganne's reaction could have resulted in brain damage or death. Report the reactions to your doctor.

Prepare for mild illness for 1 week to 10 days after the vaccination. It can and does happen.

>For parents who have not given the recommended infant vaccinations, are
>you planning to have your children vaccinated later? Why or why not?

I covered this above, but will summarize.

1) The effectiveness of some vaccines (particularly pertussis) is
questionable.
2) The incidence of diptheria is quite low and diptheria is now
treatable.
3) Measles, mumps, rubella and chickenpox are mild childhood diseases
with few side effects for healthy children. (These diseases are
dangerous for malnourished children, however).
4) Each vaccine carries certain risks.
5) The immunity conferred by a vaccine is generally shorter-lived and
less complete than the immunity conferred by the natural disease.

Note that we are choosing to vaccinate for polio and tetanus.

>In particular, would you vaccinate your daughter for rubella when she hits
>puberty? Why or why not?

Yes. Childhood rubella vaccinations seem short-sighted to me in light of the tendency for the rubella vaccine to wear off. But young women need immunity to rubella to protect their unconceived children.

>(Please mail responses to this account.  Your name will be included inthe
>FAQ unless you specify otherwise.)
>
>If anyone is interested in reviewing the FAQ when I have written a draft, 
>send me email (I have one person reviewing it already).  I have found 
>some information about vaccinations in other countries, so I no longer 
>need that question answered, but if anyone on sci.med (or on misc.kids, 
>for that matter) can suggest good resources to check to keep this FAQ 
>current after I have written it, I'd welcome them (one thing I've noticed 
>in my research is that there are lots of changes happening).
>
>Lynn Gazis-Sax
>
>
>
>
-- Heather Madrone
madrone@cruzio.com (WAS madrone@cruzio.santa-cruz.ca.us)

===============================================================================
From: kellihmt@ausable.crd.ge.com (Margaret T Kelliher)

Lynn,
Here's my 2 cents. Hope it's what you're looking for.
Margaret

We've given all recommended vaccinations so far (15 mos and 4 years) We did delay certain of Colleen's shots because she had a very rough neonatal period and we couldn't see stressing her system more than necessary.

Why did we do this? All these things are a bet. Given the relative rates of disease, and the seemingly bad effects of these diseases, and the relatively low risks of the shots, it seemed a good bet to take the shots. (And it makes it easier to get into school and day care.)

I did a little reading (Parents, and a few articles my doctor gave me at my request), but in large part, I trusted my doctor, who has always answered my questions to my satisfaction. With the hepatitis B, I also talked to several other doctors: ob/gyn & pediatric neurologist in particular, and read some articles on the subject.

Advice:

Give them tylenol immediately after the DPT shot.

For all shots, leave extra cuddle time in the schedule. If nursing, try to make an opportunity to nurse the baby immediately after the shot. Once they are verbal, prepare them for it (but not too graphically).

Always ask questions about the shots effects and what to look for. DPT especially; I believe that the first adverse reaction is supposed to be somewhat mild; while subsequent ones are more likely to be devastating. I would not allow a second one if the first one raised a question.

===============================================================================
From: carolp@teleport.com (Carolyn Peterson)

Pertussis vaccine.

This vaccine is one that many parents worry about giving their children. They do so for good reason. There is a lot of information out saying that the vaccine could cause problems with their child's health. Who wouldn't worry!

Unfortunately, the possibility of getting the illness and problems from the illness does not seem to be publicized as much as the potential complications from the vaccine are. Pertussis, or whooping cough, is still present today and can easily be transmitted. The last booster for the illness is given around 4-6 years, after that the illness isn't severe, so boosters aren't given. Adults can have the disease and just think they have a bad cold. It's a completely different story for infants.

Friends of ours came down with colds and a bad cough. They continued their normal routine. Their 3 month old daughter also came down with the "cold". The disease reached the pertussis stage while the mother and child were thousands of miles from home. The baby had horrible coughing spells, projectile vomiting and apnea attacks after the coughing. She was hospitalized for 3 weeks, with 8 days of that in ICU due to whooping cough (or pertussis).

Our 3 month old child and several other infants that age had all been exposed to the disease at a play group. The infants received their second vaccination early and were put on erythromycin for 10 days as a precaution. That stuff is wicked for young children. After one day, our daughter started screaming at the sight of the antibiotic bottle. It took two of us to get the medicine down her and we were fortunate that she only needed two doses a day. The only thing that gave us the strength to force her to take the medicine was the knowledge that our friends' child was so ill many miles away.

During this time, we learned that whooping cough is still quite active in the United States. Countries that don't vaccinate against it have children dying from the disease each year (I don't have the numbers any more.) The immunization isn't complete until after the 3rd shot at six months. Even then, there is a small chance they could come down with the disease. The only other case of pertussis that our pediatrician had seen at the time was from a child who had been vaccinated, but still came down with the disease. --
Carolyn Peterson
carolp@teleport.COM

===============================================================================
From: Diane Lin

Our son has been given the full range of immunizations--polio, DPT (diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus), MMR (measles, mumps, rubella), Hib (meningitis), and Hepatitis-B. We made the decision to have our son vaccinated for all of these because (a) we felt there was a moral duty to have him vaccinated, both to escape the free-rider problem, and to contribute to the herd immunity**, (b) the risk of serious side-effects did not outweigh the benefits of immunization, and (c) the increased numbers of children who are not immunized is steadily going up, which increases the chances of an epidemic, and while most of the diseases are fairly minor, we didn't see the point in exposing our son unnecessarily. In making our decision, we spoke to our pediatrician, other parents, and read the views expressed in misc.kids :-).

When our son got his first DPT shot, he cried for about 4 hours afterwards, and I was at a loss to comfort him. After calling my husband to come home, we were finally able to get a little bit of Infant Tylenol into our son's system. That helped tremendously so that he could nurse and be comforted. After that, we made sure we gave him some Infant Tylenol just before he got his shots, to ease the discomfort. Also, after his first MMR shot, I had forgotten that some kids display symptoms of measles anywhere from a few days to a week after the immunization. I didn't panic, but I wish I had kept that in mind!

-- 
Diane C. Lin			"The only rational way of educating
dlin@weber.ucsd.edu	         is to be an example."
(Dylan's mom, 2-3/4 years)	                --  Albert Einstein
===============================================================================
From: CRSinc@GroupZ.net (ALF)
Subject: Vaccines

This is on my home page. "Stay tuned to this page. My next story will be concerning "Are Vaccines Really Safe.?" Moms, please do your research on the safety of vaccinations BEFORE YOU VACCINATE YOUR BABY."

This is a very controversial topic. I hope I can give you enough info to research and make up your own mind as to whether you should or shouldn't vaccinate your child.

PLEASE GO TO A MEDICAL LIBRARY AND DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH. You will get so much more out of this than you will believe from me. I start my research on vaccine safety before my son was born so that when the time came for me to decide I would make an informed decision and not let anyone sway me from my decision based on facts and not heresy from a doctor, nurse, or my own mother!

The most alarming stats came from the 3 in 1 shot called the dpt shot. D=Diphtheria (epidemic disease affecting mainly the throat and air passages) P=Pertussis a.k.a. Whooping cough (infectious disease marked by fits of convulsive coughing, followed by characteristic loud whoop or indrawing of breath) T=Tetanus (disease in which a virus causes spasms of violent muscular contraction; a.k.a lockjaw)

The following is a disclaimer that is on all vaccine inserts: "As with any vaccine, vaccination may not result in sero-conversion in all individuals".

Sero-conversion = vaccine may not necessarily result in blood antibodies, and hence, nay not work in everyone.

What they don't give you are the stats on just how many times the vaccine does work.
Example: 1989 Ohio, Pertussis outbreak. 82% of the children that contracted the Pertussis were already fully vaccinated. The children that were vaccinated against the Pertussis had just as bad a case as if they had not been vaccinated at all. You hear all the time that "if you are vaccinated and you come into contact with the virus you will either escape from contracting the virus at all or you will have a lesser/easier case of the virus than the person who isn't vaccinated at all." All of the research that I could get my hands on proved that statement to be utterly false.

This is a hard statement for me to make due to the fact that I love my child and I would never knowingly inflict any pain on that beautiful gift from God. However, I can not knowingly give my child a vaccine knowing what I know today.

Here are the facts:
1. Acquired immunity in childhood will last a lifetime. Most infectious diseases contracted in childhood are not fatal and are fully recoverable. Contract the same said infectious disease in adulthood and you might die.

2. Risk benefit analysis is for you to decide. THANK GOD. Our government and the medical community would have you believe that your child can't attend daycare or school without being vaccinated against everything known to man and that is NOT TRUE. Fact: you can send your child to daycare and school. Here is how.
A. Religious exemption,
B. Doctor's note exempting the child from vaccination,
C. Several states have statutes exempting mandatory vaccination.

3. No one knows how long vaccines last in the first place hence the supposedly necessary evil of boosters. (This was a big WOW for me!) Note: refer back to #1.

4. Time line for infants to receive vaccine is made up from several recommendations based on lab results from pharmacuetical companies. Result = the ultimate conflict of interest.

5. CDC maintains that all infectious diseases can be controlled by vaccinating the entire population. I found No evidence to support their claim. In fact the more I search the more I concluded that vaccines do not work and in fact are responsible for the following; High/high fever resulting in frying the brain causing sever seizures leading up to and causing a stroke and eventually possibly death, ADD = Attention Deficit Disorder, Hypertention/hypersensitivity, break down of the bodies own immune system (draw your own conclusion from THAT), and the list goes own on from the hugh side effects from vaccinations.

6. Fact: if the patient has a reaction (red swelling around shot area, fever , fits of loud crying, etc.) discontinue remaing vaccination schedule. The doctor will maintain and the CDC and AMA will maintain that all babies and adults will have some sort of reaction to a shot. Your pediatrician will continue with the shot schedule unless you ask to have the shots discontinued. Also, ask the doctor to document your childs reaction and forward the patient record to the CDC. I had a terrible time getting any stats on low level reactions. High level reactions were no problem. All of these reactions were recorded via emergency room visits and the morgue. 602 deaths in 1994 were attributed to vaccines. 30,000 recorded sever injuries from vaccines. Our government has a vaccine fund set up to pay off survivors.

I could go on and on. I started asking a few questions on a couple of chat lines and I was overwhelmed by the response. 95% of the responses were solidly against vaccines.
One of the responses was from a lady in Dayton, Ohio - Kristine M. Severyn, R. Ph., Ph.D., Director of "Ohio Parents for Vaccine Safety". She is your best contact for up-to-date info on Vaccine Safety. Phone and fax:(513) 435-4750 Address: 251 W. Ridgeway Dr., Dayton, Ohio 45459.

7. Last but not least and definitely very important - New Chickenpox vaccine called VARIVAX made by Merck and Co. will be used on our children as if they were guinea pigs for company profits. Merck's own literature states "The duration of protection is unknown at present and the need for booster doses is not defined."

8. Post marketing studies of vaccines utilize the federal Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System (VAERS). The government that maintains this system dismisses VAERS reports as "anecdotal".

Vaccine package insert is the place to start when doing your research. Please obtain from doctor or pharmacist before you take your child in for their "scheduled" vaccination. Several good books: "The Immunization Resource Guide" reviews more than 60 books covering all aspects of vaccinations, Several places on the internet.

The following site http://wwwonder.cdc.gov/wonder/prevguid/p0000238/body0008.htm is published by the CDC and when you read this keep that in mind!

CRSinc@GroupZ.net
http://www.groupz.net/~CRSinc/ & http://www.groupz.net/~CRSinc/fff.html
===============================================================================
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998 14:46:16 -0500
From: bullard
To: gazissax@netcom.com
Subject: Re: misc.kids FAQ on Childhood Vaccinations, Part 4/4

I'll be brief. I strongly believe that vaccinations are out there to benefit our children. My son has cong. heart disease, and to do nothing would be out of the question. Known fact~~ your child is more at risk of disease if you do not vaccinate him/her. There isn't anyone who can look into the future and determine whether or not our children are going to be free of problems. If you do nothing, when you can do something~~ then that is ignorance. You can't blame yourself for something that may or may not happen.
===============================================================================
Date: Fri, 02 Apr 1999 21:06:38 -0800
From: Erin & Sam Viniegra
To: gazissax@netcom.com
Subject: vaccinations

I feel I need to share the tormenting decision I had to make regarding my sons vaccinations, and the light I found at the end of the tunnel. Let me begin by telling you that if the decision were completely up to me, I probably wouldn't have done so. Although my husband (whos father is a doctor) felt very strongly about doing so. We argued for quite awhile over the matter. I believe in alternative medicines and had an alternate plan brought to my attention. In the end he has been vaccinated for most of them. The exception being Varicella (chicken pox). We chose to wait to see if he got them on his own as a child, and if not we may opt to do it later.
I have Kaiser and my doctor is still fighting me on the decisions we have made. I chose to have him vaccinated for one thing at a time with at least a two month period in between. I contacted National Homeopathic Products (800)888-4066 in Madison, Wi and ordered several pre-vaccination kits; one for each shot to be given. The theory behind this is that giving them the homeopathics prior boosts their immune systems preparing them for the shot. The homeopathics given after the shot cleanses their systems of any toxins ( which are used in the base of all vaccinations). This way I have felt more at ease, my husband is satisfied, and my son has never had any discomfort, fever, and sometimes he doesn't even cry when he gets the shot. I hope this helps someone else who may be in the same position I was.

===============================================================================
From: mstopp (Beth Topp)
[This story consists of excerpts from a much longer story which is available at: http://www.avn.org.au/robert_s.htm. Since this FAQ is posted on Usenet, to keep the post length short, I am excerpting from her story rather than including it in full. - LG]

Am I writing to you because I would not be able to live with myself if I didn't try to prevent other people from having to experience the same tragedy that our family did this summer.

On May 28,1999 my 10 year old son and his 13 year old brother received the first of three "mandatory" Hepatitis B vaccines. My 10 year old son experienced mental, physical and personality deviations almost immediately. Five days later the left side of his face was paralyzed followed shortly by his left arm, then his abominable muscles and legs. He has been diagnosed with Central Nervous System demylination/autoimmune disorder from serious adverse reaction to Hepatitis B. The prognosis and severity of both are unknown. There are no practice standards of treatment.

Our families story about the devastating effects of the Hep B vaccine law June 1999

I could not imagine a more difficult task than describing how my son was before the shot. With every word I feel that bright, curious, considerate, beautiful little boy getting farther away. My son is still here, but he’s not the same. He changed literally overnight. He had a thorough physical exam and our doctor said he was in great shape. A few minutes later the nurse gave him his first "mandatory " Hepatitis B vaccine. The following morning he was different. Different looking, different acting. I keep explaining this difference to all the doctors.

I realize that it is hard to get past the fact that he is paralyzed on one side, but that for us is only the tip of the iceberg. There is something else going on here. There is something really wrong with him. Mentally, physically, and personality wise he is a different kid.

I can’t expect a doctor who has never met him to realize what a dramatic transformation this is because they have nothing to compare him to. I am hoping that my memories will be enough to help them understand how much of my child is missing. I hope I can make them understand how special he is and help them find some way to bring my little boy back to me. I’m not asking for a miracle, but just to understand what is happening to him, so maybe I can help fix it. I am so desperate, I will try anything. If he was dead I could mourn him and if he was missing I could look for him and if he had cancer I find the best doctors for treatment and comfort him. But he has turned into someone else and I don’t know what I am supposed to do. I don’t know how I am supposed to do it.

I enjoy my kids. With six of them there is never a dull moment. They are all good kids, but Robert was always the perfect child. If you asked the other kids they’d agree. He was the good one.

Since the day he was born, a perfect little angel with a halo of beautiful white blonde hair and wise blue eyes. He was content. He didn’t have colic or get fussy. He never showed any sign of a temper and was patient to a fault. He was always so happy and agreeable. He was a natural athlete, nice, trying to please and very bright.

To say he was very bright doesn’t seem to do justice to his intelligence. He was a straight A student, every year and had scores of 100 percent on the state tests. His fourth grade teacher encouraged me to sign him up for our local college and he was accepted, but I decided a junior college wasn’t the best place for a little boy to be a little boy. He went to the Gifted and Talented Education Program.

Robert loved to think. He was so curious. He was always asking questions and loved to figure out brain teasers and word problems. His brothers nicknamed him "Poindexter" and teased him because he would say "Well, actually..." everytime he corrected you. And he was always right. But he never bragged. In fact to Robert it wasn’t any big deal. Even though he mastered most things immediately he enjoyed practicing them as well. To keep himself challenged, he would time himself and try to get his homework done in record times. I never had to tell him to do his homework, it was always done. Robert demanded so much of himself that I never had to worry about him.

Robert was pleasant, calm, agreeable, mature, intelligent, athletic, coordinated, focused, self-disciplined, responsible, considerate and so fantastic every minute you had to remind yourself that he was there...never any trouble. The day before this nightmare began I was on the phone talking to my sister. I was catching her up on all the kids and I commented that I always have something to talk about for everyone but Robert. Robert is always the same, perfect as always. Nothing new. Straight A’s, no trouble, no problems, fantastic as always. She laughed and reminded me when Rob broke both his arms all anyone talked about was his brother who hit him with the car. I told her if all the kids were as easy as Rob, I’d have a lower phone bill because I’d have nothing to talk about.

You really would have to know Robert to understand how radical a change there was after the shot. He’s not the same anymore in anyway. He’s really ticklish now. And has no tolerance for pain. If you step on his toe he screams and falls down crying in agony. Then he jumps up and wants to attack whoever hurt him. He is mean to little kids. He argues and fights and demands that everything be fair. He gets lost. He looks lost. He can’t do basic subtraction. He can’t remember anything. He forgets what we did yesterday and doesn’t have the ability to think back and remember the last time he went to the bathroom. He is cold even when it is 90 degrees. He gets exhausted walking and gets nosebleeds alot. His face doesn’t move on the left side. He can’t even close his eye or blink. His face sometimes looks twisted tight and severe. Other times it looks like it is sliding off his head. His mouth doesn’t work so he drools, has trouble swallowing., slurs words. and when he drinks it runs right down his chin. The only thing he likes to eat is yogurt and does this weird thing with the right side of his tongue licking the spoon. He eats by putting his face down by the plate.

People stare at him constantly. This attention is really hard to take. He never wanted to be the center of attention when he deserved it and he really doesn’t want it now. That’s hard for all of us to take.

He can’t handle the simplest of tasks. It’s things like putting items in the diaper bag to bring in the house. First he picked up everything and then picked up the diaper bag. He wasn’t able to get the zipper open because his hands were full. Instead of putting the stuff down and opening the zipper, he was stumped. He started to carry it all inside, but dropped a few things on the ground. He was almost to the house when he decided to go back and get the stuff he dropped. He then dropped more stuff when he tried to bend over. Finally he took the empty bag in the house and made several trips back outside to get the stuff. I put it in the bag and then went out side to shut the car door. Afterwards he had to lay down and said he didn’t know why he was so tired.

We went to a block party at our local ice cream shop. They sold raffle tickets for all sorts of prizes donated by local merchants. Robert had three consecutive tickets, 513, 514, and 515. They raffled off over 60 prizes in between songs. My son stared at these three tickets for the entire evening. He held them in his hand in front of his face. Everytime a number was called he would look at each of the three tickets. Even if the number was 247, he had to look at each of the three tickets to see what the numbers were. Everyone else was talking, listening to the band and having fun except Robert. He stood in one spot and had to focus entirely on three consecutive numbers. After watching him do this for over an hour, I asked him what his numbers were. He looked at them and turned to tell me but couldn’t. Then he showed me the tickets so I could look for myself. It is awful to see him like this. My sweet, brilliant, dynamic, little boy. My heart was breaking for him. It scared him and he seemed to withdraw like a turtle into his shell. His shoulders slouched and his chin went to his chest and he wasn’t there. I asked him what was wrong and he said he was cold. We went to the car to get his jacket even though it was a beautiful summer evening. He stumbled a few times on the way to the car so I took him by the elbow to guide him. He put on his jacket with the collar up and hid in it.

He seemed to feel a little better and I asked if he wanted something to eat. The only thing he orders at this place is a corndog and rootbeer. He has lived here his entire life and that is all he has ever ordered, he loves it. His brother wanted chili cheese fries so I gave Robert some money and he just stood there. I told him to go inside I would follow him in there. He stumbled on the step and then barely had the strength to open the door. There was no line so we didn’t wait at all to place the order. Robert stood at the counter looking completely lost. When the girl asked him what he wanted he looked at me, but I told him to go ahead and tell her what he wanted. He struggled and came up with chili cheese fries. The girl asked if that was it and Rob just stared at her. Then he said "yes, I’m not hungry". I said "I thought you said you were hungry?" He said, "Yes, but I can share the fries". So I pushed a little more by asking "Fries? What happen to your usual corndog and rootbeer." He looked so relieved as if I had rescued him, "That’s right, I’ll have a corndog and a large rootbeer." It was then that he realized there was something wrong with him and others could tell. He was tucked back into his jacket before the girl handed me our change.

I keep a log of what each day is like. Sometimes it seems that the harder the day the less I can write down. I suppose it is self preservation on my part to avoid any thing that would put me over the edge. Some days I feel so close. Especially when we have to interact with doctor’s or the medical profession. The system makes them appear apathetic and detached. But I haven’t met a single doctor or nurse who wasn’t truly affected by Robert’s pathetic state. They are sorry. That is the worst. I want them too fix him and they are sorry. We ended up in a urgent care bed after Robert collapsed during a doctors appointment. The fourth doctor we saw asked me about his situation, then asked what he could do for me. I almost lost it when I told him "How was I supposed to know? I’m not a doctor." He didn’t get mad or walk away. He touched my arm and told me he was sorry and wanted to do what he could. I couldn’t get angry so I am sad and it just hurts.

The same goes for everyone I’ve called for information on what treatment is available. I keep calling and reading and trying to find something on how to cure my son. I’ve talked to doctors, experts, advocate, parents, and others like Robert. People are so kind. They listen, they care and then they say they are sorry. And I wait...I keep waiting for them to continue. But they don’t continue. So I repeat myself and say my son was seriously injured by the Hep B Vaccine and I thought they might have information that could help us. Anything at all, please. They say they are sorry again. Some give me the name of a lawyer or tell me about the compensation offered. I thought they said this because the cure was expensive. All I am interested in is my son’s health and making sure he gets better. They listen as I go on and on. They are kind and they understand. They are sorry. Sorry doesn’t bring him back. Compensation won’t do it either. We need a doctor not a lawyer. So I keep searching and praying. I pray that if I ever receive a call from a desperate mother I will have something to tell her besides sorry.

Please don’t say you are sorry. Just bring Robert back.

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1) Herd immunity: As long as pretty much everyone else stops at those four-way intersections it's almost certainly safe for you to blast through 'em without even slowing down. In fact, if the intersection is in a high-crime area you might even be able to make a case that if you stopped like everyone else did you'd be at higher risk of carjacking, and therefore you could claim it would be outright irresponsible for you to stop. The moment you begin to persuade others of your anti-four-way-stopping policy the policy breaks down. The loss of everyone-else-stops herd immunity causes the risk of collisions to very quickly overtake risk of carjackings. We face the same issues with vaccination: As long as enough other people are vaccinating any individual can afford to avoid the risk of possible side effects. 2) My partner and I debated long and hard over giving our son his first DTP vaccination but what (we both believed) was the right thing and scheduled him for his shot. The evening of his scheduled appointment he came down with the classic febrile convulsions that everybody worries about from the old Pertussis vaccine. *BUT* here's the kicker. Our son *didn't* get vaccinated because the doctor's office called and asked if we could reschedule! In other words he would have been sick either way, but had he had his shot we would have almost certainly blamed the vaccine instead of random bad luck. How 'bout them apples? 3) When our daughter was born our doctor dropped by to check her out. She mentioned that when we wanted to leave the hospital staff would recommend giving her the entire series of vaccinations in one go. She advised us to decline the vaccination because she knew we'd follow up with a more orderly, well-spaced schedule as our daughter grew. There's a kicker here too. Our daughter was delivered in the hospital by an extremely experienced, dedicated, and generally non-interventionist midwife, who also delivered our son. *She* was far more sanguine about vaccination than our doctor was and said it wouldn't hurt to just get it out of the way. (She disclosed that she'd caught whooping cough the summer before while working in a remote religious community that didn't believe in vaccination. Her position was: nobody should have to endure whooping cough.) Good luck with your project, Lynn. I'm sorry I can't be more help. Take care, figleaf ===============================================================================
Section 1 of the misc.kids Childhood Vaccinations FAQ
Section 2 of the misc.kids Childhood Vaccinations FAQ
Section 3 of the misc.kids Childhood Vaccinations FAQ
Back to the Childhood Vaccinations page of the Children's Health page